I miss you. I know those words are worthless now, just another meaningless sentiment at the pinnacle of a pile of broken promises, crushed dreams & trampled hopes. Though it’s not as if I could ever blame you for doubting me. After all, it didn’t exactly take much for me to leave, did it? Just a hastily scrawled note, a swift kiss on sleeping lips & a hushed farewell. “I can’t do this anymore”. As if you didn’t deserve so much more than that; as if you weren’t worth so much more than that. I owed it to you, after all you did, all the memories we shared together. I know I broke your heart and I guess that’s the worst part- the thought of leaving you, my shining star, my everything broken & burnt out, thinking that you were nothing to me. You’re still there, lingering in my dreams, screaming at me down the phone, begging and pleading, needing me back. “Why did you do it???” I never really gave you an answer did I, I just left you hanging with that faithful old cliché- “It’s not you, it’s me.” To be honest, baby, that wasn’t even a lie. I swear I wasn’t trying to let you down gently, it’s what I believed- what I believe. I was a coward, darling; I needed you so much more than you needed me, and I was terrified of the day you would inevitably get bored. I’d rather break both our hearts than just have that fate inflicted on mine, so I chose the easy, selfish route out, just reaffirming what I already knew. Because let’s face it- you were always too good for me.
     So, there you go. A long overdue explanation- it’s been what, two years now? I’m glad you’ve found someone else, someone who isn’t too weak to hold on to you- someone who’s so much more worthy of you. Sure, I’m not over you, I haven’t moved on, but I was never going to, was I? Maybe, one day, I’ll be able to push you far enough into the back of my mind, that I’ll be able to find someone else and almost love him. Almost, but not quite- I don’t think there’s enough room in my heart what with you taking up all the space.
     Anyway, I’m rambling. I guess I should probably get to the point; you don’t care about any of this, I’m just a memory, a regret. You probably only invited me out of pity or just for the sake of old times. I’m going to be there, just to see you again, see your brilliant smile, your shining eyes one last time.

See you at the wedding xx